28 June, 2021
Image Credit: Yohann LIBOT at Unsplash
Written on April 24, 2021, posted on June 28, 2021.
Ever since I was infected by the novel coronavirus in December, I feel weak and tired in bouts; it may be because of the viral infection. But the last few days have been out of the ordinary. I have never sensed so much grief around me. I remember being affected by news reports from Bhuj after the earthquake in 2001 and the devastating Tsunami in 2004 in my childhood, but I have never felt so helpless. This is not about comparing the pain or intensity of those affected by any of these disasters but I must confess that when the pandemic affected me and my near and dear ones, it’s then that I understood the pain of those affected by it. My family members are Covid-19 positive. They are surviving, fighting it out like millions of others. Managing hygiene, food, medicines and taking care of each other despite feeling extremely weak. Coronavirus is nothing like the common flu virus; it takes a toll on you physically as well as mentally.
I am new to Twitter but it has been overwhelming this week. There are either people asking for beds and access to oxygen cylinders, tagging hospitals and begging for admission, sharing pictures and videos of exhausted healthcare workers and placing plasma requests or they are expressing angst and anger and blaming failed governance. Amid these, there are a few trying to help through volunteering.
Does this depict the current sentiment of our country? Did we need a pandemic to bring us to a state where we come together and speak our mind? A very senior academician once told me- “When we were growing up, India had recently become independent. We always strived for a better future for the country rather than focusing on our individual lives. You are the Present. The future is now in your hands. Take care of the country.” I never forgot him because of the passion with which he said these words. As I was growing up, expressing patriotism was considered old-school and even embarrassing among the youth. His emotion was very new for me.
As I read news of people dying around me and watch videos of relatives outside the crematorium with token numbers, I remember his words. I had to execute a task today given the obligation of my profession. I was given the responsibility to execute it but no authority. I wanted to change the way things were being done, but there was no option. I had a slight realization of how being helpless feels! How much would it hurt when you are raging inside, but you have to accept the situation. Is this the new normal? Or have things always been this way?
When powerful people make decisions, many times they live in the egocentricity of implementing these decisions. They want decisions to be implemented by you without any opposition but they wait for you to fail to be able to reprimand you for failing. And that's how a system fails. Probably, that's where we are failing at all levels- institutional, regional and national.
Faiz Ahmad Faiz Sahab's - "bol ke lab aazaad hain tere, bol zubaan ab tak teri hai" is my all-time favourite composition. When I feel weak, I go back to it. My upbringing and my fetish for old Bollywood movies never let me finish any write-up on a pessimistic note. But this one will be an exception because we are living in exceptional times.
